Built to last

Days go by at the speed of life

Tick after tick I feel the slow knife

One more wrinkle upon my face

One more reminder of my fleeting place

I started out stronger than the fire of hell

But not long after began the toll of the bell

The spirit leads and the flesh should follow

Mine has died and soon the body will hollow

Where is the joy of my childhood

Bringing hope to all I could?

It seems it has fallen away and ever so fast

Thank my Maker, for I was not built to last

-CL Fuqua

Time is now

There was a time

There was a time

When I believed in tomorrow

Far away was my sorrow

But look at me now would you

Fixed to the ground could you

All I know is yesterday

Futures now cast away

You can’t trust the plan

If you don’t know the man

It’s really a sad story

The details are a tad gorey

But I’m starting not to give a damn

And I happen to be my biggest fan

I watched Death

I watched Death work tonight

The victim’s eyes lost their light

Have you ever witnessed anything so mysterious as this

There’s a finality and quiet as one slips into deathly bliss

“Don’t use your teeth when you bite me, please”

I said as the fangs ripped through me with ease

I wriggled and writhed to escape my fate

Until finally I accepted that it was too late

This is when the world began to fade away

And with it all the chaotic mess filling the day

Now its quiet and dark

No dogs to bark

Not even the fluttering of the meadowlark

I watched Death work tonight

Worked on me until I had no fight

I am dead with nothing left to say

I am dead so take your Life and go away

-CL Fuqua

Oasis of Dreams

Remembering always remembering

All I have are memories

Times long past

Futures gone at last

Eyes faded slowly over time

Once bright but losing their shine

I can still recall the first vision

I still see you in my dreams with precision

Reality is a desert from which I must flee

Diving into an oasis of Dreams I am free

I can see you as you were

And I too am there

Our love is young but sure

And in my dreams you still care

-CL Fuqua

Twilight’s Last Gleaming

It’s all poetry after all

We saw the rise

We saw the fall

Come to me amidst fiery skies

Choke back the smoke

Killing one another over lies

We never cared about fallout

Only winning

Cast away all doubt

What is this travesty we’ve become?

Left with two paths

One, murder and the other, martyrdom

This is twilight’s last gleaming

Blood rains

So why is your face beaming?

When my fresh blood covers you end to end

Just remember

There was a time when you called me friend

-CL Fuqua

Black angel Black angel

Black angel Black angel

We come in two’s

Just to abuse

See the imago Dei

Watch it fade

We hunt in pairs

Setting snares

Black angel Black angel

Can you not see?

Forests before thee?

Life will outlast you, dear

Death conquers with its leer

Speck of dust are you

Here and gone in just a few

Black angel Black angel

Two by two casting hexes

Without mercy the mind vexes

Go the way of all sin

Let apotheosis flood in

Height of all you can be

Sad joke that none shall see

Black angel Black angel

-CL Fuqua

Updates

I don’t think I have much of an audience on this site. But if anyone out there does enjoy reading my unstructured thoughts I’m sorry I’ve been absent of late. I actually have been focusing most of my creative energy on my podcast, “Christ and Cthulhu”. I host this horror/spiritual themed show which seeks to delve into the fiction of HP Lovecraft and his brand of cosmic horror, drawing out the deeper meanings of the stories in relation to Orthodox Christianity. Much like drawing venom from a wound. And there’s lots of venom there! So if that sounds like something you’d be interested in you can find it on any podcast streaming service. Just search for “Christ and Cthulhu” and you’ll see it! I just finished season 1 so I hope to devote a little more time to writing here before picking back up with season 2. Thanks for sticking around! -CL Fuqua

The World’s Changing

Look up to the sky

Cause tonight we gotta die

and

I held your hand in the summer rain

Kept you warm in the winter pain

but

It doesn’t matter in the end

On our own we must forever fend

so

I fell in love in the glow of 1980’s neon light

As times changed I lost my soul in the fight

see

Now it’s all dark and I see nothing to believe in

The past is a ghost and presently I just conceive sin

now

Give me drugs, give me money, give me sex

Play that fucking harp cause I’m truly vexed

well

They say the world’s changing but really is it?

Or simply swiftly rotting into a ball of bullshit?

God

Can You hear me out there?

I’m so tired if You even care

Life’s only got one lesson and I’m tired of being shown

Death can be scary, oh but at least it’s still unknown

-CL Fuqua

Kiss The Sky

Black hair, white skin
Let me in, let me in
I could give you everything and anything
You just have to kill whats inside
My friends say I’m not the same when we’re together
They say I’m just not me
But they can’t see, they can’t see
How much I hate to be me
So eat me up until I’m all gone
Until the end of my sad song
Oh my aren’t we in luck?
Today she feels like a good fuck
So we burn away into dust
Smoldering in the fires of lust
I don’t want to remember anything
I just want to be your pretty nothing
So now you’re dead and I’m lost
My girl’s gone and look at the cost
There’s nothing in me left to save
Since you took me with you to the grave
I can’t feel that way for anyone again
So my heart is useless after all then
God can you hear me are you really there?
Let me know cause it ain’t feeling very fair
Not even thirty five and I’m ready to die
Not even thirty five and I wanna kiss the sky
Can you hear me are you even there?
I’m bleeding slowly if you care to care
Not even thirty five and I wanna fucking die
Not even thirty five and I don’t wanna try
-CL Fuqua

Observe A Statue I.II.III.

Observe A Statue: I
What a vision of beauty you are to behold! When I look at you I feel the yearning of a thousand lifetimes. Unrequited love I have never known yet I feel my heart breaking all the same. I remember the first moment my gaze fell upon you. The perfect smoothness of every curve. The milky glow of that marble shimmering against the backdrop of night. Moonlit ecstasy for all to see. In the daylight hours your majesty is not diminished. The otherworldly pose you hold in perpetuem is a vision of the celestial heavens that await us beyond the veil of death. She is a calling-the beckoning from beyond. An invitation for all mankind to ascend. To attain to heights not thought possible in all our fickle futility. You never change.
I love you, dear Statue. I love you. I love you.

Observe A Statue: II
The passing of seasons paints you in a new light. Or is it a new form? The pose has been altered in the subtlest of ways. Only I could notice. And your beautiful marble countenance has faded into something ambivalent. Why have you begun to change, O love of my youth? When I was a boy I could admire your perfection day and night without interruption of form. Now you have traded perfection for the mild creep of decay. I stare at you and watch you slowly sift into yet unknown forms as water slipping through a tightened grip. Where are you going dear Statue? What are you becoming? I am willing to remain rooted to the moist soil encompassing you. If you will but be unchanged.
I want to love you still, dear Statue. I want to. I want to.

Observe A Statue: III
How evil becomes you! Beautiful marble goddess I once held in my heart. You have been savaged by some demon of pitiless night. Possessed and twisted into a form I know not. Holy things must shrink away in disgust. And I follow close behind. My eyes see nothing but a haze of black and red over you. Bloodstained and cracking to disfigure your face into one of menacing dread. You are more gargoyle than woman. Where is the vision of the heavenlies you let me glimpse as a boy? Only death and the grave ooze out of your wounded form now. While the once moist ground has become parched and dry. There is not even any life in the soil which is burdened with supporting your infernal form. I must go for you have changed.
I once loved you, dear Statue. Now I hate you. Now I hate you.

-CL Fuqua