Black hair, white skin
Let me in, let me in
I could give you everything and anything
You just have to kill whats inside
My friends say I’m not the same when we’re together
They say I’m just not me
But they can’t see, they can’t see
How much I hate to be me
So eat me up until I’m all gone
Until the end of my sad song
Oh my aren’t we in luck?
Today she feels like a good fuck
So we burn away into dust
Smoldering in the fires of lust
I don’t want to remember anything
I just want to be your pretty nothing
So now you’re dead and I’m lost
My girl’s gone and look at the cost
There’s nothing in me left to save
Since you took me with you to the grave
I can’t feel that way for anyone again
So my heart is useless after all then
God can you hear me are you really there?
Let me know cause it ain’t feeling very fair
Not even thirty five and I’m ready to die
Not even thirty five and I wanna kiss the sky
Can you hear me are you even there?
I’m bleeding slowly if you care to care
Not even thirty five and I wanna fucking die
Not even thirty five and I don’t wanna try
-CL Fuqua
Observe A Statue I.II.III.
Observe A Statue: I
What a vision of beauty you are to behold! When I look at you I feel the yearning of a thousand lifetimes. Unrequited love I have never known yet I feel my heart breaking all the same. I remember the first moment my gaze fell upon you. The perfect smoothness of every curve. The milky glow of that marble shimmering against the backdrop of night. Moonlit ecstasy for all to see. In the daylight hours your majesty is not diminished. The otherworldly pose you hold in perpetuem is a vision of the celestial heavens that await us beyond the veil of death. She is a calling-the beckoning from beyond. An invitation for all mankind to ascend. To attain to heights not thought possible in all our fickle futility. You never change.
I love you, dear Statue. I love you. I love you.
Observe A Statue: II
The passing of seasons paints you in a new light. Or is it a new form? The pose has been altered in the subtlest of ways. Only I could notice. And your beautiful marble countenance has faded into something ambivalent. Why have you begun to change, O love of my youth? When I was a boy I could admire your perfection day and night without interruption of form. Now you have traded perfection for the mild creep of decay. I stare at you and watch you slowly sift into yet unknown forms as water slipping through a tightened grip. Where are you going dear Statue? What are you becoming? I am willing to remain rooted to the moist soil encompassing you. If you will but be unchanged.
I want to love you still, dear Statue. I want to. I want to.
Observe A Statue: III
How evil becomes you! Beautiful marble goddess I once held in my heart. You have been savaged by some demon of pitiless night. Possessed and twisted into a form I know not. Holy things must shrink away in disgust. And I follow close behind. My eyes see nothing but a haze of black and red over you. Bloodstained and cracking to disfigure your face into one of menacing dread. You are more gargoyle than woman. Where is the vision of the heavenlies you let me glimpse as a boy? Only death and the grave ooze out of your wounded form now. While the once moist ground has become parched and dry. There is not even any life in the soil which is burdened with supporting your infernal form. I must go for you have changed.
I once loved you, dear Statue. Now I hate you. Now I hate you.
-CL Fuqua
Between Lines
I can still smell your scent
Love you
Do not love you
Do not love you
Your eyes spectral and haunting
Hating you
Always hating you
Always hating you
Lips of a goddess sweet and cruel
From me
Stay away from me
Stay away from me
The voice singing softly to me
Forever
Burn forever
Burn forever
I can still smell your scent
Your eyes spectral and haunting
Lips of a goddess sweet and cruel
The voice singing softly to me
Obsolescence
Trading bodies just to be somebody
Feeling up and down like a nobody
In the end I’m just me
Nothing if not un-free
Dancing through the smog of the pretty city
Laughing all the while feeling pretty shitty
Can you read between the lines of my sad story
Or did your eyes glaze over finding me boring
What’s it all about in the end
Finding someone to call a friend
Or true love with hands locked tight
Trying your best not to end in a fight
I’ve got no answers to life’s smallest questions
I’m always open to the very worst of suggestions
We’re all arm chair philosophers after all
So give me your ideas either big or small
I’ll mull it over as I lay wasting away on my death bed
Hoping my good outweighs what I shouldn’t have said
-CL Fuqua
Alexandra the Great
I’m building monuments to my Empress
Chiseling away the marbel to impress
Will the intoxicating brown eyes gaze upon me today
Leaving me in the warm light with nothing to say
Conquer the fortress of my solitary being
Show me your heart, something worth seeing
Closer and closer to each other we creep
But never touching as prudence we must keep
Disentangle the passion of those troublesome loves
Philia and Eros wrestling for control like rabid doves
We can figure it out one day at a time
Step until our steps begin to rhyme
-CL Fuqua
ballet
My sweet ballerina twirling in nothing
Dance for me until I feel something
I’d let you die for me bleeding out nice and slow
You love me enough but I’m just here for the show
People like you always think the best of me
Cause people like you are blind for all to see
“He’s just like me underneath all that black”
When I’m actually holding a supervillain back
World class misanthrope waiting to be set loose
The world’s over-sized but I’ve got the perfect noose
-CL Fuqua
Swallow the Horizon
All of humanity begins and ends feeling only desire
We want for food, shelter, water, crawling in the mire
We grope in endless black clinging to each other
Hoping for comfort only when not killing one another
Some refuse the abyss in favor of hard upward ascent
While others disbelieving in peaks elect for eternal descent
Who ends up gaining what their faith promises to grant?
Always between light or shade but do both leave us scant?
I was promised a Horizon just beyond the next want and need
A glorious TELOS waiting for me hidden humbly within a seed
I have traveled like the great Saint of old with the universe on my back
Gnarled and weighed down by the raging waters of ever-increasing lack
I found it in the end shining like a beacon to lost ships at sea
Neither up to the light or down in shade but straight ahead of me
Horizon glowing effervescent splitting the edge of ocean and sky
All that was left for my withered being was to simply lay down and die
When I awoke from death I stood up renewed and perplexed
The misery of my mortality was finally and completely vexed
I have swallowed the Horizon and now death is finally done
I have swallowed the Horizon and a new life has just begun
-CL Fuqua
The stars speak
I looked up into the night’s sky to derive meaning
I studied the constellations to divine any gleaning
They answered back in cold indifference
I was left an infinite cosmic vociferance
Nothing but my lung’s breath ascending before me
Vaporous fleeting in a prophetic and descending reverie
The dots of light in the sky hint of galaxies and worlds unknown
Each one more barren than the next- optimism lost its throne
What has become of this nous in my being?
The eye’s darkness is great indeed- unseeing
The stars speak to me in a language I knew from birth
The cursed speech of a slave-race chained to the earth
They tell me in all their celestial glory not to gaze on the cosmic seas
I could never dream in a billion lifetimes of being arrayed as one of these
O foolish man that I am searching for fiery hope in a tepid existence
Behold your futility as all life churns monotonously in bloody resistence
The stars speak
The stars speak
But do not seek
But do not seek
-CL Fuqua
Manhood
Well here she comes again with her perfect hair and revised list
She’s got a new lecture for me every day but I already got the gist
Don’t worry boy she’s gonna teach you how to grow
Without her wisdom you wont have shit to show
If I had a dime for every girl trying to make me into a man
They think they know what it takes and show all they can
Here comes another femme-sage with advice as fickle as the wind
High n’ mighty till she’s puttin her clothes back on after our night of sin
It’s just another little woman tryin to make me a man
It’s just another little woman tryin to make me a man
They know what they’re supposed to desire
So they tell me what men are like, little liars
I show em what it’s really like and they can’t help but smile
They scold my darkness but after all end up staying a while
So wax on baby tellin and teachin me all you can
I’ll pretend to listen when I really don’t give a damn
It’s just another little woman tryin to make me a man
It’s just another little woman tryin to make me a man
It’s just another little woman tryin to make me a man
It’s just another little woman tryin to make me a man
-CL Fuqua
Blot Out The Sun
When the end comes will it be fire or flood?
Does death win or are we saved by God’s blood?
I’m beginning to care less and less who is right or wrong
I am starting to value might over thought, only the strong
I see animals disguised as humans destroying everything they can find
Who cares if you have the best logic when the subject has lost their mind?
I say we silence them with power
No more peace offerings and flowers
There’s glory in war and heroes in violence
So give them more until there’s only silence
They bring down monuments of the past
History is a subject for them far too vast
Therefore we will end their delusions of a future
Their remains fall apart as we tear out the suture
Leave them with nothing and no one
Empty in the dark, blot out the sun
-CL Fuqua
