Collected writings of CL Fuqua

The World’s Changing

Look up to the sky

Cause tonight we gotta die

and

I held your hand in the summer rain

Kept you warm in the winter pain

but

It doesn’t matter in the end

On our own we must forever fend

I fell in love in the glow of 1980’s neon light

As times changed I lost my soul in the fight

see

Now it’s all dark and I see nothing to believe in

The past is a ghost and presently I just conceive sin

now

Give me drugs, give me money, give me sex

Play that fucking harp cause I’m truly vexed

well

They say the world’s changing but really is it?

Or simply swiftly rotting into a ball of bullshit?

God

Can You hear me out there?

I’m so tired if You even care

Life’s only got one lesson and I’m tired of being shown

Death can be scary, oh but at least it’s still unknown

-CL Fuqua

Black hair, white skin
Let me in, let me in
I could give you everything and anything
You just have to kill whats inside
My friends say I’m not the same when we’re together
They say I’m just not me
But they can’t see, they can’t see
How much I hate to be me
So eat me up until I’m all gone
Until the end of my sad song
Oh my aren’t we in luck?
Today she feels like a good fuck
So we burn away into dust
Smoldering in the fires of lust
I don’t want to remember anything
I just want to be your pretty nothing
So now you’re dead and I’m lost
My girl’s gone and look at the cost
There’s nothing in me left to save
Since you took me with you to the grave
I can’t feel that way for anyone again
So my heart is useless after all then
God can you hear me are you really there?
Let me know cause it ain’t feeling very fair
Not even thirty five and I’m ready to die
Not even thirty five and I wanna kiss the sky
Can you hear me are you even there?
I’m bleeding slowly if you care to care
Not even thirty five and I wanna fucking die
Not even thirty five and I don’t wanna try
-CL Fuqua

Observe A Statue I.II.III.

Observe A Statue: I
What a vision of beauty you are to behold! When I look at you I feel the yearning of a thousand lifetimes. Unrequited love I have never known yet I feel my heart breaking all the same. I remember the first moment my gaze fell upon you. The perfect smoothness of every curve. The milky glow of that marble shimmering against the backdrop of night. Moonlit ecstasy for all to see. In the daylight hours your majesty is not diminished. The otherworldly pose you hold in perpetuem is a vision of the celestial heavens that await us beyond the veil of death. She is a calling-the beckoning from beyond. An invitation for all mankind to ascend. To attain to heights not thought possible in all our fickle futility. You never change.
I love you, dear Statue. I love you. I love you.

Observe A Statue: II
The passing of seasons paints you in a new light. Or is it a new form? The pose has been altered in the subtlest of ways. Only I could notice. And your beautiful marble countenance has faded into something ambivalent. Why have you begun to change, O love of my youth? When I was a boy I could admire your perfection day and night without interruption of form. Now you have traded perfection for the mild creep of decay. I stare at you and watch you slowly sift into yet unknown forms as water slipping through a tightened grip. Where are you going dear Statue? What are you becoming? I am willing to remain rooted to the moist soil encompassing you. If you will but be unchanged.
I want to love you still, dear Statue. I want to. I want to.

Observe A Statue: III
How evil becomes you! Beautiful marble goddess I once held in my heart. You have been savaged by some demon of pitiless night. Possessed and twisted into a form I know not. Holy things must shrink away in disgust. And I follow close behind. My eyes see nothing but a haze of black and red over you. Bloodstained and cracking to disfigure your face into one of menacing dread. You are more gargoyle than woman. Where is the vision of the heavenlies you let me glimpse as a boy? Only death and the grave ooze out of your wounded form now. While the once moist ground has become parched and dry. There is not even any life in the soil which is burdened with supporting your infernal form. I must go for you have changed.
I once loved you, dear Statue. Now I hate you. Now I hate you.

-CL Fuqua

Between Lines

I can still smell your scent

Love you

Do not love you

Your eyes spectral and haunting

Hating you

Always hating you

Lips of a goddess sweet and cruel

From me

Stay away from me

The voice singing softly to me

Forever

Burn forever

I can still smell your scent

Your eyes spectral and haunting

Lips of a goddess sweet and cruel

The voice singing softly to me

Obsolescence

Trading bodies just to be somebody

Feeling up and down like a nobody

In the end I’m just me

Nothing if not un-free

Dancing through the smog of the pretty city

Laughing all the while feeling pretty shitty

Can you read between the lines of my sad story

Or did your eyes glaze over finding me boring

What’s it all about in the end

Finding someone to call a friend

Or true love with hands locked tight

Trying your best not to end in a fight

I’ve got no answers to life’s smallest questions

I’m always open to the very worst of suggestions

We’re all arm chair philosophers after all

So give me your ideas either big or small

I’ll mull it over as I lay wasting away on my death bed

Hoping my good outweighs what I shouldn’t have said

-CL Fuqua

Alexandra the Great

I’m building monuments to my Empress

Chiseling away the marbel to impress

Will the intoxicating brown eyes gaze upon me today

Leaving me in the warm light with nothing to say

Conquer the fortress of my solitary being

Show me your heart, something worth seeing

Closer and closer to each other we creep

But never touching as prudence we must keep

Disentangle the passion of those troublesome loves

Philia and Eros wrestling for control like rabid doves

We can figure it out one day at a time

Step until our steps begin to rhyme

-CL Fuqua

ballet

My sweet ballerina twirling in nothing

Dance for me until I feel something

I’d let you die for me bleeding out nice and slow

You love me enough but I’m just here for the show

People like you always think the best of me

Cause people like you are blind for all to see

“He’s just like me underneath all that black”

When I’m actually holding a supervillain back

World class misanthrope waiting to be set loose

The world’s over-sized but I’ve got the perfect noose

-CL Fuqua

Swallow the Horizon

All of humanity begins and ends feeling only desire

We want for food, shelter, water, crawling in the mire

We grope in endless black clinging to each other

Hoping for comfort only when not killing one another

Some refuse the abyss in favor of hard upward ascent

While others disbelieving in peaks elect for eternal descent

Who ends up gaining what their faith promises to grant?

Always between light or shade but do both leave us scant?

I was promised a Horizon just beyond the next want and need

A glorious TELOS waiting for me hidden humbly within a seed

I have traveled like the great Saint of old with the universe on my back

Gnarled and weighed down by the raging waters of ever-increasing lack

I found it in the end shining like a beacon to lost ships at sea

Neither up to the light or down in shade but straight ahead of me

Horizon glowing effervescent splitting the edge of ocean and sky

All that was left for my withered being was to simply lay down and die

When I awoke from death I stood up renewed and perplexed

The misery of my mortality was finally and completely vexed

I have swallowed the Horizon and now death is finally done

I have swallowed the Horizon and a new life has just begun

-CL Fuqua

The stars speak

I looked up into the night’s sky to derive meaning

I studied the constellations to divine any gleaning

They answered back in cold indifference

I was left an infinite cosmic vociferance

Nothing but my lung’s breath ascending before me

Vaporous fleeting in a prophetic and descending reverie

The dots of light in the sky hint of galaxies and worlds unknown

Each one more barren than the next- optimism lost its throne

What has become of this nous in my being?

The eye’s darkness is great indeed- unseeing

The stars speak to me in a language I knew from birth

The cursed speech of a slave-race chained to the earth

They tell me in all their celestial glory not to gaze on the cosmic seas

I could never dream in a billion lifetimes of being arrayed as one of these

O foolish man that I am searching for fiery hope in a tepid existence

Behold your futility as all life churns monotonously in bloody resistence

The stars speak

But do not seek

-CL Fuqua

Manhood

Well here she comes again with her perfect hair and revised list

She’s got a new lecture for me every day but I already got the gist

Don’t worry boy she’s gonna teach you how to grow

Without her wisdom you wont have shit to show

If I had a dime for every girl trying to make me into a man

They think they know what it takes and show all they can

Here comes another femme-sage with advice as fickle as the wind

High n’ mighty till she’s puttin her clothes back on after our night of sin

It’s just another little woman tryin to make me a man

They know what they’re supposed to desire

So they tell me what men are like, little liars

I show em what it’s really like and they can’t help but smile

They scold my darkness but after all end up staying a while

So wax on baby tellin and teachin me all you can

I’ll pretend to listen when I really don’t give a damn

It’s just another little woman tryin to make me a man

-CL Fuqua