Cosmic girl

This is based on a few things. Tonight I felt sadness and decided to let it take me. I also found the perfect song to inspire me to write. And finally it is based off a dream I had when I was just a little boy. Enjoy:

“Yet another night looking up to the stars. Just sitting here waiting for you. My cosmic girl. When you first came to me I was just a boy. Why did you come to me? What did you see in me? How long were we together before you returned to your celestial home? You left with the promise that you’d come back for me one day. But now all these years later where has that promise gone? So much has happened since you were here. I had to change to survive the world you left me in. Cosmic girl, would you even recognize me? I learned all the things daddy couldn’t teach me.

I learned how to hate and fight. I can rage and bite.

I became cruel in order to live. But am I alive if I have nothing to give?

Cosmic girl I loved you the moment I saw you. You showed me your heart and told me soon you would crush it in your hands to disappear. I watched you do it. You hugged and kissed me then died in front of me. You turned to stardust in front of me and rose to the night sky. And my eyes have not left that night sky since. For 27 years I’ve watched the constellations hoping you’d descend back into my life. My world is full of liars but you couldn’t do that. Could you? So many lonely nights have passed waiting for you. Cosmic girl did you lie to me? Or did the pure and happy boy you promised to come back for die long ago? Who am I now?

Always searching for something more. Spiritually begging like a whore.

No words can express like my fists can. I beat meaning out of my fellow man.

Mommy didn’t show me this. I had to adapt to this environment. And now here I am still waiting for you. Would I even love you now? So pure and shining like the heavenly bodies, would I know how to love you? The boy that was me knew he loved you instantly. So why didn’t you take him then. Why didn’t you take me with you then? Cosmic girl here I am still waiting for you. Looking up to the stars tonight begging to be a boy again.”

-CL Fuqua

Published by clfuqua87

Old soul with stories to tell.

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