How long has it been, love?
My heart cries “too long!”
My head sighs “not long enough.”
Is everything perfect for you now?
Have all the pieces fallen into place?
Yeah, me either.
You seem disappointed in me.
You thought by now I’d be “free.”
Free of the archaic superstition.
Taking up rank with the Godless sedition.
Sorry but I cannot ever sever the spiritual link.
Not that I’m ever so clever as people think.
I can think myself to death but that’s not why.
I feel the truth so I can avoid the lie.
I can see the demons feasting on your soul.
Defiling you until there’s nothing but a black hole.
Where once was love and joy now only sorrow.
Clawing at moments of happiness to borrow.
That’s why I am who I am.
I vow to be what the demons hate and fear.
Because they desecrate all I hold so dear.
You, my jewel, my life, my inspiration, please fight to survive!
You’re drowning in death and I long for you to be revived!
If you could only wake up and see what I see.
If you could understand instead of pitying and hating me.
I would cut these weary hands off and give them to you if it meant you could fight.
I would tear out my tongue and offer it up if it meant you could taste the light.
I would gouge out these eyes and gift them to you so you would have true sight.
I would make my abode in the lowest parts of hell
If in the highest heights of heaven you would dwell.
Oh Holy Virgin! Please save your servant and hear my cry!
It’s not fair for me to live and for my love to die!
-CL Fuqua
