“Everything is perfect but I can remember when it wasn’t. There’s a strange and uneasy feeling I have regarding those times. It’s one of nostalgia and yearning. What is it about storms and rocky roads that make a sunny day seem a bore? It’s not as if I don’t appreciate all I’ve been given and all I’ve earned in the hard years prior. I most definitely do! I just can’t help but remember this scene. It is burned in my mind even now.
She was there, hair black as midnight and skin paler than the moon in who’s light she bathed. Dancing in her white silk gown, she twirled and moved like something from a hypnotic dream world. She danced for me occasionally locking eyes and smiling. I just sat dumbfounded resting on the seaside bench. Waves crashed and the foam crawled further up the sand before receding back into the ocean’s embrace. The night breeze caressed me with its cool touch and I just watched. Sat and watched the wonder before me.
These weren’t the perfect years. Not by any stretch. My life at this point was turbulent with worry and uncertainty about everything. The pale dancer could mesmerize me but also tore my heart to pieces so many times. A beauty so otherworldly can’t help but bring calamity. I fought and struggled with all my might to keep it all together. Gritting my teeth to keep everything from falling to pieces. Like a fatally wounded soldier futilely scooping his guts back into his abdomen I couldn’t make the separate parts of my life fit. Those were the imperfect times. I knew nothing else so I assumed this was just as life is. But the dawn was just up ahead. Life moves that way. I know now. You just get stuck in a routine but change will come. It must.
So here I am now. It’s a sunny day and I can hear birds singing. I’m at a park bench watching my young child play with her mother, my beautiful wife. They are laughing as my wife swings our daughter round and round. Everything is perfect. And yet….
The scene flashes back into my past. The park disappears taking my family with it and there’s an endless choppy ocean, dark and ominous as the future, only what the moonlight kisses is revealed, and brightest of all is my pale dancer. She twirls away, her porcelain glow entrancing me as we lock eyes. Everything is perfect. So how can I yearn for this moment in time?”